100+ Happy Birthday Funny wishes

A birthday is the anniversary of the birth of a person or, figuratively, of an institution.

People’s birthdays are celebrated in many cultures, often with birthday gifts, birthday cards, a birthday party, or a passing ritual.

Sending birthday greetings has become an indispensable tradition these days. It can be difficult to find the perfect wish card for a particular boy or girl, especially given the many options. Don’t worry about what to write on your birthday card.

Funny birthday Wishes

Some funny Happy Birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.
Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart and funny and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
It’s your birthday? Let’s get up to some mischief!
Funny birthday wishes about getting older:
It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
You’re how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
You’re not old! …oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that…
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us.
Great news! …you’re still alive!
You’ve got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.
You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!
Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.
Don’t think of it as turning [insert age]. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.
Looking [insert age] is great – if you’re sixty.
[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
[insert age]?! I demand a recount!
Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here’s to many more.
Happy birthday! And remember you’re not [insert age] …you’re 18 with [XX] years’ experience.
[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!
You’re 60? That’s only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!
Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.

Funny Birthday Messages for Friends

When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred!
Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here!
Friend, on this day of the year, many, many years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something!
Happy Birthday to someone who is getting more valuable and better with age! Oh wait–that’s wine. Happy Birthday to someone who is just getting old!
Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age!
If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday, buddy!
Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!
Happy Birthday to a friend who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!
Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know!
Make birthday cakes, not war.
Make birthday cakes, not war.
Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave!
On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old!
Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding!
Friend, don’t mind me, but ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same: calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake!
Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!
As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like ‘always save money for retirement’!
Friend, some people are obsessed with age! Like me! I can’t believe how old you are!
Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!
Friend, you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind!
Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer!
Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!
Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!
Happy birthday, darling. May the cosmetics be with you.
Happy birthday, darling. May the cosmetics be with you.
Never apologize for who you are!!! Happy Birthday.
Never apologize for who you are!!! Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday! May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows!
Happy Birthday! May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows!
Dear friend, I know you know who I am, but I hope you get tons of wishes from all those other vain people on social media who call themselves your ‘friends’, too.
I was going to send your gift in the mail, but the mail service said I weighed too much, so here I am.
Hey bestie, I know you are sad about your age this year, but no worries- I’m here to blow out your candles for you so you can feel like a real kid again!
We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still two girls who are better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe.
Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we’re kids. Happy birthday, bestie.

Funny Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday! May you live to be old and toothless.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Candles are years Happy Birthday to you!
Blow me, says your lighted candle! Happy birthday buddy.
Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.
Happy birthday! I hope you get dope and happiness. Sorry, hope and happiness.
Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! Happy birthday.
Another birthday comes by with more candles on your cake and less hairs on your head!
Dear hubby, You define my past and my future. And as for the present, I could find nothing for you. So I bought one for myself.
I hope you enjoy your birthday just like when you were born in this world. Without clothes.
Once in many years, people with great passion and brilliance are born into this world who aims at the greater things in life. And today one of them would like to wish you a very happy birthday.
I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn’t let me courier myself to you. Hence, Happy Birthday!
I wish almighty embraces you with luck to follow up those dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you up from them.
One more year of warming your butt on my couch. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday buddy. Don’t you worry about getting so old. That was something that happened years ago.
Happy birthday and welcome to the ’29 years old forever’ club!
Happy birthday man, and if someone calls you old, whack him with your walking stick.
There is no way in hell that I could have forgotten your birthday… Because a sweet little angel called Facebook reminded me!
Take two pieces of cake, one in each hand and you’ll be on a balanced diet.
Hit a donkey with your foot and have a kick-ass birthday!
Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That’s me. And to you a very happy birthday.
Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age.
Happy birthday dude. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun.
Good luck getting a cake big enough to fit all those candles! Happy birthday buddy.
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. May you have the energy and excitement of a 2-year-old but not the amount of their teeth.

The Most Hilarious Birthday Messages

You’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday.
You’re not forty; you’re eighteen with twenty-two years of experience.
You’re not getting older. You’re just a little closer to dying! Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.
You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today?
You’re something special every day! You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
I’ll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
You think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year, this year you’re ancient.
You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!
I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen! Happy Birthday.
I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday, but nothing came to mind.
I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth! I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
Have you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? It’s ok you can light up all your candles now? We all have a glass of water in our hands.
Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too
Hmm … I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday! It’s about time you start acting like your real age.

Funny Birthday Messages for Women

May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old lady!
Cheers to a woman who has been thirty… fifty times!
Happy Birthday to an ancient woman! Someday, you will tell me what it was like to build Stonehenge!
When you were born, the sun shone… for the very first time!
Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! One hundred years of accumulation would result in that!
I love you, girl, and I’m wishing you the best today. However, if you ever blackmail me for any reason, remember I still have those graduation photos of you.
Happy Birthday to a friend that has no secrets from me but always fills in her ‘birth date’ field alone.
Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred! Happy Birthday!
Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred!
May your Birthday be filled with joy – and wine.
May your Birthday be filled with joy – and wine.
Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred!
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, pay attention to the question and watch out what you are going to say about this glorious woman’s birthday!
Girl, you look amazingly young for your age, but remember we went to school together. Best wishes!
Cheers to a woman who has dyed her hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is!
Here is to all the years that you have been alive, and the cake budget we cut down, just because candles cost a lot! Happy Birthday, woman!
There is something that makes you stand out, woman! I know what it is: your age!
Today, girl, there are things to marvel at! Like the length of time that you have been here!
You are a woman whose very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you!
Happy Birthday, woman! Sometimes, I feel like you have been around, forever! (That’s because you have!)
Looking at you, woman, reminds me of a simpler time. Like, before there was electricity!
Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Best wishes!
Happy Birthday. In dog years this would be heaven for you.